There go my Friday nights sometime in 2010-11

Well, my dream of SUDA 51 having his way with the Wii Vitality Sensor is officially dead. Plus apparently I have to buy an Xbox 360. This bothers me for several reasons. One, the hardware sucks.

Two, is project natal, or more specifically, project natal and Travis Touchdown. To my understanding, project natal’s principal threat is to let me have a relationship with my entertainment, and I don’t want to see my significantly more doable Johnny Knoxville become an emotionally needy Tamagotchi-like entity; although this idea may be closer to in-world reality than I’d already care to admit. My dear, departed Skinner always looked extremely self-satisfied after defecating, but in No More Heroes the camera always cut before Travis got back up off of the can.

My understanding of project natal is that its input methods will rob No More Heroes of its crowning achievement in meta-gaming; The motion any male will default to, in contradiction of the actual on-screen directions, when using the Wii remote to charge the beam katana (Dear SUDA, Genius, but you knew that. Love, Carbon). It doesn’t look nearly as impressive or socially awkward when I do it, but I fail to see how this achievement in social engineering will be topped when all I can do is swat air and maybe scowl a little in an effort to get Travis to feed himself or undo his belt buckle.

Is my weekend fun guy that was always up for some quick beam katana action going to start making demands that I’m not ready for? A reassuring hand on his shoulder when I completely blow the fight? Will we have to do the lame and half assed post-match “good game” handshake with former assassin body parts when I don’t blow the fight? Am I going to have to play pocket billiards with him instead of Sylvia this time out?

Oh… wait, I’m supposed to care about these things? I see what you did ther, Mr. Molyneux.

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